I'm a cockroach. Want me gone? Mix sugar with baking soda and leave it where I crawl. I'll eat it happily. But the soda will inflate me from the inside and I won't survive. I'm an ant. Sprinkle cinnamon or ground black pepper where I walk. I can't stand those smells and I'll leave on my own. I'm a mosquito. Can't sleep because of me? Place lavende
The man who dies rich dies disgraced. We must use our surplus wealth to build libraries and schools, to elevate the poor man who wants to rise. ANDREW CARNEGIE
You build libraries with the money you stole from their wages! You give them crumbs to keep them from taking the bread. Charity is just the price you pay to buy a clean conscience while you
So it's a hot day... why do you have to sit in a bucket?
Why let the whole neighborhood know we don't have a pool?
Some of us aren't that concerned about our image!
That's true.
You know, the longer that you're married, the more you have to come to the realization that the second that everything seems to be perfect, something's going to break. For example, this morning I tried to put a load in the dishwasher. I started making these crazy noises like, it's too early, I'm too tired, I look fast. It's crazy.
I did find out that I am 1% black in this ancestry DNA test, and I was like, 1% black DNA? Like, how could that have happened? Um, but it is a mouth swab test. Rock, paper, food, and shoes. Okay. Oh, looks like I'm...
I'm so old I fart dust. When I bend over I look around to see what else I can do while I'm down. I'm so old my phone number is seven. Childhood photos are cave drawings. When I was young dinosaurs were just large pets. When someone says let's do shots I assume we're going to the doctor. When I was born rainbows were black and white.
MY DAD USED TO TELL ME THAT BACK IN THE OLD DAYS, TV CHANNELS WOULD SHUT DOWN AROUND MIDNIGHT. THEY'D PLAY THE NATIONAL ANTHEM... AND THEN GO COMPLETELY OFF AIR UNTIL MORNING. IS THAT REAL, OR IS HE JUST MESSING WITH ME?
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