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avatar John Paul
Friend: Get up. Let’s go out. Me: I’m dead. Friend: We are going ghost hunting! Me:

Friend: Get up. Let’s go out. Me: I’m dead. Friend: We are going ghost hunting! Me:

avatar Charlie Chocolate
So, when did you notice your wife was dead? The lovemaking was the same but then the dishes started to pile up...

So, when did you notice your wife was dead? The lovemaking was the same but then the dishes started to pile up...

avatar Olivia Veqqie
Are you on your way to a Halloween party, too?
Um... actually, neither of us are.

Are you on your way to a Halloween party, too? Um... actually, neither of us are.

avatar Charlie Chocolate
When I die, don't come to my grave to tell me how much you love me and how much you miss me, because those are the words I want to hear while I'm still alive.

When I die, don't come to my grave to tell me how much you love me and how much you miss me, because those are the words I want to hear while I'm still alive.

avatar John Paul
We only live once.\nWrong! We only die once. We live every day!\nYou only die once, but you get to leave every day until that day comes. Wake up...

We only live once.\nWrong! We only die once. We live every day!\nYou only die once, but you get to leave every day until that day comes. Wake up...

avatar Joseph Mitchell
I WISH THESE TWO WERE STILL ALIVE SO THEY COULD DO A COMEDY SHOW ON TODAY'S SOCIETY

I WISH THESE TWO WERE STILL ALIVE SO THEY COULD DO A COMEDY SHOW ON TODAY'S SOCIETY

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