I uh just paid off my student loan. Women don't understand me. I gave a lady friend the heart symbol, and she brought me a defibrillator. 40 years ago when I started doing stand-up, everyone told me it was a great way to meet women. We'll see. I joined a dating site for people my age called Carbon Dating. I weighed on the site for a number. She tol
Hey guys, I just found a 16-foot Burmese python in the Florida Everglades. She is so gorgeous and absolutely massive. But she doesn't know what's coming for her. A very gentle yoink. She was a pretty easy yoink, but then she wrapped me up. But it's okay, I'm used to this. She's just spraying musk all over me. This may look like a bad situation, but
American finds out about gas prices in Europe. Oh, my god. I can't believe how cheap gas is in Europe. It's like 2.73. That's crazy. Well, it's the liter price. Oh, you guys don't do gallons? No. Oh, but a gallon has like almost four liters. Well, here it's one liter. Oh, my god. So you guys are...
LET'S SEE IF I'VE GOT THIS RIGHT... 4 Democrat states are suing Trump to keep Somalia robbing America. 19 Democrat states are suing Trump to force sex-change operations on kids. 22 Democrat states are suing Trump to hide voter data. 21 Democrat states are suing Trump to give SNAP benefits to illegal immigrants. YEAH... THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT.
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