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avatar Patricia Lee

what's the matter buddy you look like you lost your best friend last night my wife got really drunk and wanted to have sex hell yeah so why you depressed sounds like you were gonna get lucky yeah I'm not sure she wanted it in the back seat sounds pretty damn hot to me bud hell it would have been but she wanted me to f**kin Drive

avatar Charlie Chocolate
Bartender:

Bartender: "what can i get you?" Blonde: "Can i try a beer?" Bartender: "Anheuser Busch?" Blonde: "Fine thanks, how's your ?"

avatar John Paul
I pointed to two old drunks sitting across the bar from us and told my friend,

I pointed to two old drunks sitting across the bar from us and told my friend, "That's us in 10 years" He said, "That's a mirror, dipshit"

avatar Jacob Junior
Yeah... that's definitely not on the menu.

Yeah... that's definitely not on the menu.

avatar Mark Manson
avatar Joseph Mitchell

When I look across the bar and see the shy bro finally talking to a girl and she's feeling him

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