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avatar John Paul
i said offhandedly to a man in work that i had a girlfriend and he paused and said

i said offhandedly to a man in work that i had a girlfriend and he paused and said "my sister is also of... your persuasion" and now i'm convinced he's a vampire

avatar Gaie Houston
My music taste is so random but it caters to ME. Don’t pass me the mf aux 😭

My music taste is so random but it caters to ME. Don’t pass me the mf aux 😭

avatar Joseph Mitchell
Nothing refreshes my memory of what I need at the grocery store like coming home from the grocery store.

Nothing refreshes my memory of what I need at the grocery store like coming home from the grocery store.

avatar Patricia Lee
When Dan Bongino and I came to the FBI in March, the pipe bomb investigation had been stalled for going on 5 years. We rebuilt it from scratch - re-running every lead, re-testing every piece of evidence, bringing in top experts, and deploying new technology to engineer the break that finally nailed the suspect.

Today is result of that outstanding

When Dan Bongino and I came to the FBI in March, the pipe bomb investigation had been stalled for going on 5 years. We rebuilt it from scratch - re-running every lead, re-testing every piece of evidence, bringing in top experts, and deploying new technology to engineer the break that finally nailed the suspect. Today is result of that outstanding

avatar Jeremy Jordan
stupid MRI lady she asked me if I had recent tattoos but didn’t ask if I’ve recently swallowed 500 ball bearings? Bing bong janice I’m gonna change your life forever

stupid MRI lady she asked me if I had recent tattoos but didn’t ask if I’ve recently swallowed 500 ball bearings? Bing bong janice I’m gonna change your life forever

avatar Mark Manson
Oh good, an email from every single store or website I've ever bought something from.

Oh good, an email from every single store or website I've ever bought something from.

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