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avatar Mark Manson
Do not talk to me, look at me, or breathe near me until this coffee has successfully booted up my system. DO NOT DISTURB. SYSTEM BOOTING PLEASE WAIT... OR ELSE. CAFFEINE > OXYGEN. SYSTEM BOOT-UP 23%. SURVIVING ON COFFEE & CHAOS. DO NOT EXIST UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE. NOT A MORNING PERSON.

Do not talk to me, look at me, or breathe near me until this coffee has successfully booted up my system. DO NOT DISTURB. SYSTEM BOOTING PLEASE WAIT... OR ELSE. CAFFEINE > OXYGEN. SYSTEM BOOT-UP 23%. SURVIVING ON COFFEE & CHAOS. DO NOT EXIST UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE. NOT A MORNING PERSON.

avatar Charlie Chocolate
The hardest part of my job is being nice to stupid people.

The hardest part of my job is being nice to stupid people.

avatar Isabella Lewis
Today I sent out a text saying,

Today I sent out a text saying, "Hey, I lost my phone, will you call it?" 12 people called me... I need smarter friends.

avatar John Paul
IF IT'S NOT MY SMART MOUTH GETTING ME IN TROUBLE IT'S MY FACIAL EXPRESSIONS THERE IS NO WINNING

IF IT'S NOT MY SMART MOUTH GETTING ME IN TROUBLE IT'S MY FACIAL EXPRESSIONS THERE IS NO WINNING

avatar Patricia Lee
USED TO BE ROCK AROUND THE CLOCK NOW IT'S LIMP AROUND THE BLOCK

USED TO BE ROCK AROUND THE CLOCK NOW IT'S LIMP AROUND THE BLOCK

avatar John Paul
when you don't wanna get up and pee cause you're comfy but you can't sleep because you gotta pee

when you don't wanna get up and pee cause you're comfy but you can't sleep because you gotta pee

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