What car should a man drive to date you? A Lambo and six figures minimum. Well, a tow truck might be the only thing strong enough to lift you and your standards. What do you bring to the relationship? I got five kids and four baby daddies. I don't cook, I don't clean. So basically, you bring leftovers and still don't microwave them. Contestant 3, w
Don't sit there & blame us olheads-cuz you gotta grow up & adult-we had to do it too. I'm pretty sure your mother had you for tax purposes. You should carry a plant around to replace all the oxygen you're wasting. I'm trying to see things from your point of view, but my head won't fit up my ass. Oh man, I bet the acoustics in your skull are top tie
Joan Rivers and Miss Piggy roasting each other, 2012. Where do you live? Do you live in a house made of straw or wood or bricks? You need to graduate to adult books, dearie. You're a bitch. Please, Joan. Joan, please. Have some dignity. What did they suck out of your liposuction?
Spill Now @spillnow Don Rickles roasts Julia Roberts 😂 Julia Roberts, you live next to me at the beach, you know that. Thanks for all the visits. Anyway, I'm living about two blocks from you, but you never show up. Come by and say hello. I'm closer than two blocks. You have no lines, Julia, just nod. Anyway...
STAR WARS ROAST. A group of guys are throwing a Star Wars party, and not only did they invite me, but they also hired me to roast them. Here we go. Dang, I must have blown up a building and gone to heaven because all I see are 72 virgins. Every dude here that knows the phrase 'I am your father' has never said the phrase, 'Who's your daddy?'. When I
Best of Back Off Challenge - Mississippi. @COUNTRYCLUBADJACENT. We got ourselves a little southern Taco Bell here. I know you're wearing a flamingo, but you don't have to set up like one. You really got it right now. So this motherfucker right here is already taking pictures. What the fuck? Look at this bullfrog. Bullfrog. My god. You think he was
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