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avatar Olivia Veqqie

My wife almost killed me one night in bed. I didn't know what to do because I didn't recognize the noise. You ever look for a noise? By the time I realized it, I was almost gone. 11 o'clock, this is the noise I hear... (fart sound) She says, 'What's the matter? You didn't hear that?' 'What'd it sound like?' 'Like Superman just flew over the house.'

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avatar Gaie Houston

NPCs when you say something "off script"

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avatar Joseph Mitchell

I don't know where they get the confidence, but there's a lot of men who walk around with Brad Pitt confidence, and they look like Jeff Bezos. And there's a lot of women who look like Scarlett Johansson and think they look like Jeff Bezos.

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avatar Patricia Lee
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avatar Patricia Lee

There are four types of men in today's society. Three of them are pretty much everywhere, and to me, the fourth is nearly extinct. Number one: The Pleaser. Your classic nice guy. Asks permission to have an opinion. Ask him where he wants to eat and he'll probably say something like, 'Wherever you want,' because somewhere along the way, maybe you de

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avatar Sophia Rich

COMEDY DYNAMICS. Every black person... got a n***a dial. Every black person! And you know who sees that sh*t... You know who sees it everyday? Women. Women see it everyday. When black men try to talk to y'all... on the streets... That's what you're witnessing. The number change. Starts off on a low number. "You're lookin' lovely today." "Can I walk

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