tried calling my sis out on how short her shorts are. Look, the other time she has her shorts up to her butt. She has her shorts up her ass again. And she still can't get a boyfriend. What did you say?
When you get your first job at 43 years old and go downstairs to tell your family but they're celebrating you're little brother beating stage 4 cancer instead
daughters asking for money vs the son. Can I please have some money? For what, your nails? Yeah, and my hair. Oh my god, of course, of course. How much do you need? Uhm, like just $100. This is $300. Take this. Take my credit card. Really? Yes, yes. Oh, thank you, you're the best. Hey dad, I need new clothes, can I have some money? Son, we don't ha
I wish I could have a free bag of chips. Well go get yourself a bag of chips. When your dad won't let you hold the flashlight anymore so you try to sing to him and hold the umbrella as moral support. You are my sunshine. You shut the f*** up. Is this yours? Yeah. This one? Yeah. Where is my tea? Day 5 of being in bed sick and my dad is driving me c
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