It's tough gettin' older. Looked up, saw that light, started to walk towards it. I asked Siri a question about my life expectancy... and she changed the subject.
Brand New Key Melanie (Safka) I rode my bicycle past your window last night I roller-skated to your door at daylight It almost seems like you're avoiding me I'm okay alone, but you got something I need Well, I got a brand new pair of roller skates, you got a brand new key I think that we should get together and try them out, you see I've been looki
Looking ahead to the remainder of this year, there will be two more opportunities for us to meet each other. Firstly, the APEC meeting in China, and then the G20 Summit in the United States. I do welcome you, Mr. President and the First Lady, to visit China. Well, thank you very much. We will. And we'll be speaking a lot. I think our farmers are go
I uh just paid off my student loan. Women don't understand me. I gave a lady friend the heart symbol, and she brought me a defibrillator. 40 years ago when I started doing stand-up, everyone told me it was a great way to meet women. We'll see. I joined a dating site for people my age called Carbon Dating. I weighed on the site for a number. She tol
Hey guys, I just found a 16-foot Burmese python in the Florida Everglades. She is so gorgeous and absolutely massive. But she doesn't know what's coming for her. A very gentle yoink. She was a pretty easy yoink, but then she wrapped me up. But it's okay, I'm used to this. She's just spraying musk all over me. This may look like a bad situation, but
American finds out about gas prices in Europe. Oh, my god. I can't believe how cheap gas is in Europe. It's like 2.73. That's crazy. Well, it's the liter price. Oh, you guys don't do gallons? No. Oh, but a gallon has like almost four liters. Well, here it's one liter. Oh, my god. So you guys are...
Memes Today – is an entertainment platform built primarily on Android and iOS mobile apps. In order to use the full functionality of Memes Today, we ask you to download the mobile application available from the links below. By downloading the App, you can like, comment, save posts to favorites, share the content.
