When thieves break into a special forces soldier's home by mistake. System's closed circuit. Glass shatter. What the f***? PD knocks. Officers? They just asked me to drive them here. We ain't officers, but you're sure gonna wish we were. I need to go to the bathroom. Piss your pants. Oh s***. I'm not cleaning that s*** up. You know why they get you
Gump! What's your sole purpose in this army? To do whatever you tell me, Drill Sergeant! God damn it, Gump! You're a goddamn genius! That's the most outstanding answer I've ever heard! You must have a goddamn IQ of 160! You are goddamn gifted, Private Gump! Listen up, people! Now, for some reason, I fit in the army like one of them round pegs. It's
Best of Mr. Roper. We had a peeping Tom the other night. You're making that up. No, I'm not. I saw him plain as anything. He was looking in our bedroom window and yawning. You must have been getting undressed. Did you tell him about your pain? No, we didn't talk about you. A miniature golf card. Well, I really used to score pretty good in those day
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